You Are Loved

Dear Oliver,

First off let me tell you that you have found out how to throw a fit.  When I say fit I mean 2 hours of meltdown screaming and frustration.  Last night was difficult.  You wanted me to put you on the counter and when I didn’t you let me know that you were upset.  Fuming mad with tears and after an hour into it I broke down in tears with you.  It was a cry fest and it was not fun.  I had no idea how to tell you that you were not going to get onto that counter and you had no idea how to tell me that I was going to put you there no matter what you had to do.

Finally, it all ended and I literally tip toed around so I wouldn’t set you off again until it was bedtime.  Your autism is really starting to rear its difficult head and I am desperately grasping at straws trying to figure this out.  I am reading, guessing, improvising, and losing.  There is one good side to all of this.  People care Oliver.  Your fundraiser has raised money already to help me be able to get you the things you need so that when you have these meltdowns you can communicate with me or with a weighted compression vest, you will feel grounded and in control.  We are blessed to have so many people that care about you.  People who know you only by pictures, this blog, and my voice.  I cannot believe the generosity and love.  It’s difficult to give when you don’t really know the person, plus the holidays are right around the corner and most people are strapped for money.  Even so, they are giving to you and we are that much closer to getting your needs met.  I love you Oliver.  Meltdowns, spinning, rocking and all.




2 thoughts on “You Are Loved

  1. I’m sorry, because I know what this is like. My son had terrible tantrums that lasted for hours and occurred frequently. I was at a complete loss for what to do. Nothing seemed to help. BUT, as he got older and was able to communicate more, his tantrums disappeared. By communicate, I mean he never used sentences, but he learned how to show me his needs/wants and began to understand me a little more in the process as well. So, just know that there is hope and that it will get better.


    • Thank you for giving me some hope. I was so lost and it’s so hard when all you want to do is help your child and there is nothing you can do but cry with him. I hope therapy helps me. I am looking forward to his therapy and praying that the meltdowns are few and far between. He is usually so laid back and easy going. 🙂


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