Evaluation With a Side of Tears

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Dear Oliver,

You had your evaluation with Early Steps on the 7th and between having to wake you early from your nap and the fact that you were in an unfamiliar place which usually involves needles or weird masks, you were not having any of it.  You had your first real meltdown.  All the other times when I thought your fits were meltdowns…well let’s just say I was wrong.  Very wrong.  Usually I am able to calm you down but nothing I did helped. It was heartbreaking and I felt frustrated and angry with you because this evaluation was how we would find out what kind of help you needed.  You weren’t going crazy and screaming but you were just crying and whining, clinging to me as if your life depended on it.  I felt so guilty for being angry with you but I couldn’t help it.

Then all of a sudden you were quiet and I turned around to find Trina, who is the speech therapist, blowing bubbles for you.  You tilted you head and watched as the bubbles became thinner and thinner until finally popping into nothing.  This confused you and you couldn’t understand why you couldn’t hold the bubbles and you even found it funny at times.  This was the point where I knew therapy is exactly what you need.  It won’t change who you are.  It will only bring out more of you.  The evaluation was difficult, but I answered questions for them when they could not engage you enough to see if you were capable of whatever they were looking for.  You scored a 58 on Cognitive which includes attention and memory, reasoning and academics, and perception and concepts.  You scored a 75 on Adaptive which includes self-care and personal responsibility.  You scored a 65 on Personal-Social which includes adult interaction, peer interaction, and self-concept/social role.  In Communication you scored 55.  In Gross, Fine, and Perceptual Motor development you scored 92.  Any score that is 75 or lower is not good and means you require therapy.

Since you are still so young you qualify for early intervention which means that a therapist will come play with you and show you how to interact with people.  You don’t understand the give and take part of communication.  This is the first step.  I am so nervous Oliver.  It is going to be amazing to see you develop and learn and TALK!!!  I cannot wait to hear you tell me you love me.  That will be the day when all of this becomes worth it.  When you do finally say I love you, I will say I love you back and smile knowing everything is going to be okay.  I love you my Oliver…

Love,

Mommy

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